The Strategies
Enjoy this experpt from the book Strategies for Happiness: How to Achieve Your Happiness Potential. To get the full story, Click here to order a copy today!
Eradicate Envy
Don’t allow envy into your life. Envy is an ugly thing and does nothing to enhance your happiness potential or your dreams. Instead, it fills you with a sense of failure and entitlement. It’s an indication that you don’t think very highly of yourself. Wishing harm on others that have what you want is not only a statement about your character but an indicator of the possibility of your success in life. Jennifer James, an urban cultural anthropologist and faculty member of the Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences Department at the University of Washington said:
Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point – that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative – self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it’s a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.
When faced with such a situation, make the decision to with others in the joy. Rejoice with them in their good fortune. Congratulate them and wish them well. Do what you can to help them with their goals and talents.
What will you get out of this? Well, for one thing, you will be happy. You will not be controlled by envy and malice toward others. Just because they have achieved what you want does not mean you cannot, someday, achieve it yourself. Also, if you are in the right frame of mind and open to the opportunity, they may be there to help you to get to where you want to be. The key is to have the strength and wisdom to be grateful, even if it’s not you that has achieved the goal. Your time will come.
The more we help and promote each other in our endeavors, the more we build up ourselves. Getting angry at someone because they were successful will only end up hurting us.
That doesn’t mean allowing others to take advantage of us but in spite of their treatment we need to be conscious, loving and helpful whatever way we can. Not for what we can get out of it, but because the more we build each other up and make the world a saner, healthier, happier place, the better it is for all of us. If we promote each other and help each other along, we will be in a better position to achieve the best kind of life.
Envy is really about agreeing with the concept of being unworthy. When caught in envy’s trap, the pain of what you think you are missing can be so intense it can blind you from seeing all the wonders you already have.
As the American journalist Harold Coffin said, “Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” We need to rise above our childish demands and expectations. While anticipating future rewards for our hard work, celebrate when others are succeeding as well.
Just because someone gets there before us doesn’t mean we are any less worthy or that we will never attain it eventually. We just have to keep on working toward our goal. When we celebrate others’ victories, we can learn from them and consequently helping us to get there eventually.
Overcome envy by wishing others well. Next time you feel the green monster rising, look at the person you are jealous of, and silently – or maybe not so silently – bless them in their good fortune with sincerity and appreciation. Encourage them to continue to succeed. Your time will come, and then they can celebrate with you.