The Strategies
Enjoy this experpt from the book Strategies for Happiness: How to Achieve Your Happiness Potential. To get the full story, Click here to order a copy today!
Choose Courage
Fear is at the root of all that causes us pain. Almost every negative experience can be traced to some sort of fear. Happy people use courage to combat fear. Courage is not the lack of fear, but the strength to face it.
Happiness is a choice. Fear immobilizes and freezes you from action. If you cannot take action because you are caught and held still by fear, the ability to make decisions is near to impossible, resulting in misery.
It is important to remember that fear is an emotion, based on what we believe will or could happen to us because of a particular circumstance. If we face the fear and see it for what it is, we can decide to overcome the fear. The first step is to make the decision that you want to change the way you think, the second is to challenge your beliefs about your fears, and the final step, taking the necessary actions to overcome it.
What is a fear that has paralyzed you? Maybe it's the fear of rejection, failure, or even success. It may even be the thought that you may be found out as a fraud. Some fears are well-founded, while others may seem to most people as far-fetched. However, it doesn't really matter where they come from or how silly they may seem because to you, they are real. Fear is very personal. What bothers one person may not be an issue to another. Whatever the fear, it is real in the power it may have over you. It can be something learned from our family, friends, or the society we grew up in. Many of our fears are ones we taught ourselves. We decide what we choose to fear.
Empowerment comes from choosing to either overcome fear or act in spite of them.
It's possible that the thing we fear may happen. There are no guarantees either way. However, when you compare what is possible with what is probable, you see your chances are slim that they will actually come to pass. While you can't turn a blind eye to danger, you don't need to be ruled by it either. Instead, head the possible off at the pass. Take action to ensure the best possible outcome.
When dealing with fear, it might be wise to take baby-steps to prepare.
There may be nasty events in our future, but being afraid of them is not going to do a thing from stopping them from coming. When we are afraid that something bad is going to happen, and when we let it stop us from going forward with our life or enjoying the moment because of what might be, we are lost.
Does any of the energy that we put into our fear actually do anything to stop whatever we fear from happening? No! So instead, take that energy, experience the moment, and decide to live to the fullest. Seize the day!
Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that could happen to you in any particular situation? Make sure to do this exercise either on a piece of paper or in your journal, not just in your head. The act of writing it down makes it more real.
Create three columns. In the first column, list your fears. Don't consider what others think of your fears or that they may judge them as being petty or silly. They are your fears, and you need to deal with them, so disregard what others think.
Next, assign each item a grade of possibility of happening: 0 being never going to happen, through to 5: no doubt it's going to happen.
In the second column, ask yourself why you think it scares you. Do not judge your answer; just write down everything that comes to your head. Brainstorm and let your thoughts flow. Again, do not judge the results.
In the third column, brainstorm again and think up some ideas as to what possible actions you could take. Your actions could include researching information on what scares you, taking a course, or even just letting it go. However, you must take action. Just thinking about it will not be enough.
By writing down and putting a name to your fear, it often loses its power. You can't anticipate everything that is going to happen in your life, but by being pro-active, you will enhance your peace of mind. It's about stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things instead of being frozen in indecision and doubt. It's not about eradicating your fear, but about taking action in spite of it.
This strategy will not ensure everything will be alright, but will give you positive ideas that will free you from the prison that fear can put you in. After all, the majority of what we fear never comes to pass anyway, so why sweat it until it actually happens? You can never be fully-prepared for what is to come, so do your best in the meantime.
Give yourself permission to free yourself from your fears and don't let them ever stop you from doing what you want to do.