The Strategies
Enjoy this experpt from the book Strategies for Happiness: How to Achieve Your Happiness Potential. To get the full story, Click here to order a copy today!
Enough is Enough - Money and Happiness
People often try to buy their happiness. They think that money will give them a life of leisure, status, security, or power. The question is, can money really buy your happiness? My response is yes. . . and no. As Leo Rosten, the Polish-American writer and humorist once said, "Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty."
When is enough enough? Is the pursuit of wealth a bad thing? Not necessarily. Material things can bring us much pleasure and give us the opportunity to enjoy ourselves, but we fool ourselves if we make those "things" the centre of our life. If we do, we will never have enough or be enough.
Sometimes we attempt to buy happiness by giving other people what they want. We endeavour to please them in order for them to like us or give us affection. When we try to purchase happiness by sacrificing our own best interest and integrity, we give up our personal power, which opens us up to grief.
Commercialism works hard to snare you into thinking that you need to own the latest and greatest gizmo. It tries to make us believe that we are entitled to all sorts of stuff. Unnecessary debt often is a result, and is one of the greatest sources of misery in our society.
Many people feel a need to keep up with the Joneses, so they overspend. The question is, does it really matter if you have all the things they have? Are you going to be any happier? When is enough enough? If you measure happiness by possessions, you will never be authentically happy.
Make the decision that you don't need to keep up with the Joneses. They may not be all that happy anyway. They may have all these gadgets and things, but they now have to take care of and protect them. Imagine what they are paying for insurance alone!
We are influenced by the media and companies that try to trick us into thinking that we need to have all sorts of things in order to be happy. Again I ask, when is enough enough? Are you going to let them succeed to seduce you into thinking you are not enough?
If you make x number of dollars, you might think that if only you made just a little more, you would be happy. When you get those few extra dollars, do you use them wisely or fall into the trap and just spend them?
You may think, "All I need is a little more money, maybe win the lottery and then I will achieve ultimate happiness." If that "little more" ever does materialize, are you satisfied, or do you still want more? Instead of wishing for a little bit more money to carry you over the hump, start by learning to live on what you have, and being happy with what you have, now. Distinguish between wants and needs. Money itself is not the problem, it's how you use it. It is not evil, but it's often used for evil things.
This insatiable nature is not a bad thing if we use it to our advantage. It's what drives us to explore, to learn, to expand the boundaries of the possible. It can lead to wonderful advancement in our society, or lead to mindless materialism. When it comes to our possessions, we need to use discipline and sometimes make the decision that we can be happy with less than we have. Simplification. We need to say enough is enough, whatever that may mean to the individual. Enjoy what we have while being open to the possibilities of what we would like. It does not mean we need to deprive ourselves of items that might give us pleasure; we just need to be wise in what and how we acquire them.
Some people have to have more and more gadgets or the latest and greatest of toys. They have bought into the lie that they have to have these things in order to be happy only to find that after they bought them, they are not only less happy, but also a lot poorer. Some feel they need these things because they fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others. By having many possessions, they are trying to position themselves above the rest of the world by looking successful. This gives them a false sense of validation and worthiness.
People often confuse need with want. They fill their lives with things because they think they need them and the things will make them happy and a somebody. Make sure you don't disguise a want as a need. That doesn't mean you can't have any of your wants fulfilled, but don't do it at the expense of your happiness by being burdened with debt and worry.
You need to really examine the reasons for your purchase, and consider if it's going to really be something that will truly enrich your life or simply be a burden. Can you really afford it, or are you just allowing yourself to be talked into it because you think you want it? If you believe it will be worthwhile and you can do it within your means, then go for it. Chances are, if it's something that will really be worthwhile to you, it can wait awhile until you have the cash.
Only you can decide when enough is enough and when it's a worthwhile risk. When you are doing this, make sure to distinguish between wants and needs. You don't need to ignore your wants, just exercise wisdom and common sense.
Another trap is when we spend for our children. We think that if we don't buy stuff for our children – the latest fashions, the coolest toys, the newest computer games, the membership for sports teams – we are not providing and are depriving them of their rights and needs.
Our society does a lot to promote this mentality of entitlement. I knew a single mother who had three children and was on social assistance. At Christmas, the children were given tons of toys from various charities. Many of the things they got were not really appreciated because they were overwhelmed with stuff.
Situations like this can breed a sense of entitlement – that the world owes us something. This sense of entitlement will only bring pain, because expectations fall short and there is a temptation to think it's our right to have whatever we want.
It's a hard thing to not have enough, and to struggle for food and shelter. These are clearly needs that have to be met in order to live. True poverty is something that we should do whatever we can to eliminate, and it's worthwhile to help those in need. There is more to poverty than lack of money. It can also be lack of purpose, joy and meaning. Some people with great riches are some of the poorest people in the world.
Contrary to what some might say, there is nothing wrong with the desire to have more than just the basics. In fact, we are all driven by a desire to have a better life, better things, and a better job. The desire for more things or a better quality of life is not the issue. It's when you expect to have more – that feeling that you are entitled to it – when you open yourself to major disappointment. It's not a matter of never achieving your wants, the problem is if you live beyond your present means. Going into debt because of mindless spending or trying to look good is not wise.
There is nothing wrong with being rich. Everyone has the ability and opportunity to acquire abundance and wealth in their lives. The question is, what do you do with your wealth? Is the pursuit of riches your goal, or is it what you can do with the riches to help yourself and those around you?
I have been asking the question of when is enough enough. The answer is totally up to you. You may be satisfied with just getting by. You may want to go further and acquire abundant wealth so that you can experience all that the world has to offer and share it with others. There is nothing wrong with either view. The point is to be sure that you are pursuing that which will make you the best you can be.
Whatever you do, it's important to be a good money manager. Wealth is a good thing, and can help you to be better able to take care of yourself, do the things you want, and be free and able to help others. If you accumulate wealth, avoid the trap of getting into debt. Buying things on your credit card, making unwise purchases just because you have some spare cash, and getting things just for the sake of getting them is only going to create chaos in your life.
Wealth can free you of the burden of having to make a living; you are free to do what you want, when you want. However, if you use your wealth to acquire possessions just for the sake of proving to the world you are somebody or just to look good, you are only setting yourself up for a fall. Wealth, in and of itself, does not make you happy. It's what you do with your wealth that makes the difference.
The key is to learn to live below your means, get out of debt and stay out, and position yourself to be able to do what you want. Make the decision to no longer be burdened with the mentality of living from paycheck to paycheck, and being head over heels in debt.
Make the decision to end your scarcity mentality. No matter what your financial position, be grateful for what you have, and be open for more abundance. Never let the words, "I am poor," ever escape from your lips.
Get Rid of Clutter
Is it time to simplify your life? One way to do this is to get rid of clutter. Take an inventory of all the things you own. Give your clutter away to others who might really need it. Have a garage sale and give the proceeds to charity. Donate unused items to charities like the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Designate a "What were You Thinking!?" Trophy
Find an item that screams "What were you thinking?!" Put it in a prominent place to remind you that you don't need to buy just for the sake of buying. When you go to purchase something new, take a look at that item and consider, "Do I really need this new do-dad, or will it become another "What were you thinking?" trophy? Do these things really bring me joy? Why did I buy them? Was it to impress others? Am I trying to buy love and happiness for myself or from others?
If you are considering making a purchase, give yourself a day or two to think about it. Consider if this will add value to your life or become another useless thing. If you are sure, go for it. If not, wait.
After a few days, if you really feel a need for it, the item will still be there. Don't be pressured into buying something just because it's on sale, and if you don't get it now, you will have to pay more or lose it. It may be worth it to pay more and have peace of mind than to buy on impulse and regret it later. Be in control of your life and spending by not allowing salespeople to make you feel you have to buy that item, or there is something wrong with you.
Create a Spending Plan
Become a conscious spender by creating your own spending plan, instead of a budget. While it's important to be wise with your money, you don't want to have a scarcity mentally. This kind of thinking can make you feel like you are poor, and stuck in poverty. Budgets can help you be careful with your money, but they are too restricting and can foster the poor man thinking.
A spending plan, while being very similar to a budget, is simply a different way of looking at handling your money. A budget is like being bullied into following the rules, while a spending plan lets me determine how I want to live. I am in control, instead of being controlled by the budget. Instead of limits (budgets) you have boundaries. For more information on how to implement a spending plan, I highly recommend that you read the book The Complete Cheapskate: How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out, and Break Free from Money Worries Forever by Mary Hunt.